


Self Defense

by nhasablog



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Sparring, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 17:24:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17533043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nhasablog/pseuds/nhasablog
Summary: After Bones almost gets killed Jim decides that it’s time to teach him how to defend himself. It’s only sort of difficult.





	Self Defense

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna delete my tumblr, so I'm posting a bunch of fics people have requested that never ended up here. I hope you like this! Feel free to unsubscribe to escape the email notifs lmao (but come back in, like, a week because ily)

It required Bones to almost get fucking killed during a surprise combat with a very violent king for Jim to finally do something about the fact that his best friend couldn’t actually fight. Sure, there were muscles there all right, but he had no idea what to do with them, and Jim decided the pain of having to teach Leonard McCoy something was worth not losing him. Kind of.

But he was very aware of how difficult it would be, because while Jim was excruciatingly stubborn whenever Bones tried to just do his job, which occasionally involved Jim’s body, Bones was equally stubborn whenever Jim was trying to do  _ his  _ job. His job sometimes meant dealing with already agitated crew members. Apparently.

He wasn’t Jim Kirk for nothing, though. He refused to make this experience long-drawn and frustrating.

Well, at least not frustrating for himself.

“Jim, you pest!”

“When I said raise your arms more, I didn’t mean to the fucking ceiling. You gotta protect your face.”

Bones, visibly annoyed but more so willing to just learn and leave, did as he was told. “Better?”

“Yes. But don’t lock your elbows so much. Your arms are too close to your face now. Anyone can do this.” He reached out as he spoke, a finger managing to poke at the doctor’s belly twice before being shoved away. “If your arms hadn’t been almost touching your nose you would’ve been able to stop me from doing that.”

“I’m going to kill-”

“Remember,” Jim interrupted, trying very hard to not let it show just how amused he actually was - this was serious, after all, even though his methods of teaching were not. “First sign of weakness and the enemy won’t hesitate to attack. I mean, a Klingon could easily do this.” He gave Bones’ side a tickle. “Or this.” He wormed a couple of finger under Bones’ arm. “The point of this is for you to defend yourself.”

“No one will tickle me,” Bones replied, his hands unclenched and raised in front of him to fend Jim off.

“No, but replace the tickling with a knife or a claw and you’re dead.”

“I hate this.”

“You’ll hate being dead more. Imagine me running around without your ever watchful eye?”

“Let’s continue.”

Jim did grin now, but he only got a roll of the eyes in return.

They’d been doing this for about half an hour, and Jim was absolutely certain that he’d tickled Bones more than he ever had during these past few years. It was usually Jim who was reduced to a giggly, incoherent mess, but years of friendship resulted in Jim knowing that he wasn’t the only sensitive one, though he rarely used this knowledge to his advantage since he knew Bones didn’t enjoy it as much as he did. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

But he was getting tired now, wanting nothing more than to lock himself in his quarters with Bones and a bottle and maybe something edible. He needed to speed this up a bit.

“New tactic,” he said after Bones had, once again, allowed Jim to get the upper hand. “Every time you do something wrong, I won’t stop tickling you until you make me. We’re talking pinned to the floor and all.”

Bones shot him a look. “You think  _ you  _ can pin me?”

Jim tried not to let his smirk turn bashful. “You think I haven’t been able to escape during all those one sided tickle fights?”

“That explains a lot.”

“Don’t make any mistakes, Bones.”

And fortunately he didn’t. Not big enough to prompt Jim to pounce at least, because every single time Bones corrected himself instantly, and that he was now aware of what he was doing wrong was enough for Jim.

“I think that’s enough for tonight,” he said about twenty minutes later. “You’re doing good. We should definitely do this again later in the week though to make sure it’s all stuck.”

Bones seemed to be in a better mood now that they were done. “Thank god. I need a drink.”

“That makes two of us.”

“Don’t think I won’t tickle you to death once we’re three glasses in. I’m too tired right now.”

“I never had any doubts.” Which was partly why he’d been doing it all along.


End file.
